zombienationxo:

I love puns.

(via nylonsmile-mow)

suicideblonde:

this is my favorite thing on the internet rn

(Source: zizicat, via thatonesmithssong)

the-ever-so-odious:

Orca: “hello friends where’s the party”
Penguins: “FUCK SHIT NOT THIS ASSHOLE AGAIN RUN”

(via dammitkelsey)

robotwithhumanhairpt50:

notmysecret:

i…

Fuck

cynicdeviant:

awkwardly-charming:

8 month old baby hearing his mother’s voice for the first time with cochlear implant

My very favorite post on tumblr~

I just love the way his pacifier falls off, like he’s so amazed and then he’s like OH MY GOD MY MOM SOUNDS GORGEOUS

So cute!!!!!

(via dammitkelsey)

end0skeletal:

In case you’re having a bad day, meet Roo, the two-legged chihuahua, and Penny, the fluffy chicken, who just happen to be best friends. Both were rescued by Duluth Animal Hospital and now spend their days together.

(via ultra-beepbeepfaggot)

scarred-and-silent:

everywordinexistence:

i miss getting party bags at the end of parties why dont we still do that party bags were the best part of the party

It was like a reward for being sociable

(via whatdahoech)

marissacre:

alexandertalisker:

catsunicornsandlesbians:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

Well, something that changes the above statement, I work at a movie theatre and you can’t take in outside food (food that’s from anywhere but our candy bar… Except if its just candy then I don’t give a fuck) Anyway, there was a man and his girlfriend the other day and I’m pretty sure this guy was about 35, I thought he’d be reasonable, I told him he couldn’t take his ice cream and drink into the cinema, we have signs saying it and its on the back of the ticket, I told them they can eat it in the foyer and that wasn’t a problem, they seemed really pissed off by this so I kept an eye on them, he decided to walk into the cinema, so of course I followed him. I have to. It’s my job. I told him I was serious and he couldn’t take it in, the then continued to swear at me, and bitch and moan and I told him I’d talk to my manager and he could get a refund if he wanted, he seemed to want this a lot so he began to follow, I turned around to check he hadn’t gone back in, when I turned back forward… I shit you not… He threw his drink and ice cream at the wall.
There was literally nothing in that for him. He wasn’t getting a refund after I told my manager about it. He wasn’t getting his food that he’d paid for. And he sure as shit wasn’t seeing that movie.
Yes, most people are being cheap. But some of them are just complete and utter twats.

I work in a supermarket, trust me, the general populace are fucking morons

I know someone who was fired from a restaurant because she corrected a customer who asked for a kay-zar salad. The waitress informed her they didn’t have anything called a kay-zar salad. The diner pointed to Caesar salad. When the waitress corrected her pronunciation, the customer complained to the manager and she was fired. Seriously?

marissacre:

alexandertalisker:

catsunicornsandlesbians:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).
Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

Well, something that changes the above statement, I work at a movie theatre and you can’t take in outside food (food that’s from anywhere but our candy bar… Except if its just candy then I don’t give a fuck)
Anyway, there was a man and his girlfriend the other day and I’m pretty sure this guy was about 35, I thought he’d be reasonable, I told him he couldn’t take his ice cream and drink into the cinema, we have signs saying it and its on the back of the ticket, I told them they can eat it in the foyer and that wasn’t a problem, they seemed really pissed off by this so I kept an eye on them, he decided to walk into the cinema, so of course I followed him. I have to. It’s my job. I told him I was serious and he couldn’t take it in, the then continued to swear at me, and bitch and moan and I told him I’d talk to my manager and he could get a refund if he wanted, he seemed to want this a lot so he began to follow, I turned around to check he hadn’t gone back in, when I turned back forward… I shit you not… He threw his drink and ice cream at the wall.

There was literally nothing in that for him.
He wasn’t getting a refund after I told my manager about it.
He wasn’t getting his food that he’d paid for.
And he sure as shit wasn’t seeing that movie.

Yes, most people are being cheap. But some of them are just complete and utter twats.

I work in a supermarket, trust me, the general populace are fucking morons

I know someone who was fired from a restaurant because she corrected a customer who asked for a kay-zar salad. The waitress informed her they didn’t have anything called a kay-zar salad. The diner pointed to Caesar salad. When the waitress corrected her pronunciation, the customer complained to the manager and she was fired. Seriously?

(Source: 9gag)

pantslesswrock:

joanna-kaana:

this is a necessity for me

dude the oxford comma is the shit i am all up on that bitch like woo woo

pantslesswrock:

joanna-kaana:

this is a necessity for me

dude the oxford comma is the shit i am all up on that bitch like woo woo

(Source: feelinalrightsaturdaynight, via imleavingthisstupidblognpo-deac)

(Source: aisese, via lovefilledkisses)